The wedding photographer is booked, you’ve chosen your menu and the big day is fast approaching… now it’s time to write your wedding vows. But where do you start?
Look, writing vows doesn’t always come easily – you’ve likely never written anything like a wedding vow before. But with a few simple tricks to get you started, you’ll be Shakespeare’s equal in no time.
You know how sometimes your greatest creative ideas come to you at really inconvenient times? While you’re in the shower or just on the edge of sleep. Yeah, that’s probably when you’re going to get the best inspiration for your wedding vows.
So, dedicate a notes page in your phone so that you can jot down things as they happen/you think of them. Your loved one just did that super cute thing they do when they wake up in the morning: note it down. You hear a song that reminds you of a holiday you went on together: make a note. When you sit down to write your vows you’ll have a page full of notes ready to go – you'll be greatly indebted to past you (what a legend).
It’s tempting to use wedding vows you’ve seen in movies as inspiration, but I’d caution anyone re-watching their favourite romcoms for tips. When you write based on how you ‘think’ a wedding vow should sound, you lose the authenticity of your own personal voice and style. Try to throw away any stuffy notions of how you think a traditional wedding vow should sound and write down a speech to your loved one that you are comfortable saying out loud in front of a bunch of your closest friends and family.
Practice reading it out loud to yourself and if you cringe at any part that’s a sign that it’s not quite how you would say it. Go back and re-write the same sentiment in your own words. Also, swear words are totally OK – if that feels right for you.
It’s so easy to fall into the trap of cliches and vague descriptions – especially when writing vows. To avoid these eye-roll moments, try to make your vows as specific as possible. Want to say how dreamy you think your partner’s eyes are? Take it back to a time when you first noticed them or when you look into them and how you feel. Be specific and insert a little of your own emotions in there and you’ll steer clear of lame cliches.
Vows work well when they have a good balance of humour, emotion and sentiment. You’re naturally going to lean more towards one of these in your writing – so read back through and sprinkle some additional bits in. It doesn’t hurt to (in vague terms) talk to your partner about the structure of their vows. You can decide together whether or not to add in humour or keep it sincere. It’s helpful to understand where their vows are going so that they’re heading in the same direction.
Try to have fun while writing your vows. It doesn’t need to be a stressful or serious process. If you write how you feel then you can’t go wrong.
